I don’t know why I’m writing this book.
The thought came to me again and again as I waded through history books, Bible passages, theological articles, and conversations. I had started writing Judah’s Battle with excitement, confident I knew what I needed to know about Christians and war, and how it would work with the story.
Now, I look back at my naivete and shake my head.
“I don’t know why I’m writing this book!” I groaned to my mom earlier this year, after another round of research (and its accompanying headaches). Like the amazing mom that she is, she encouraged me to keep going and bought me a book on the topic.
I bookmarked portions of the Gospel of Matthew, referencing them constantly as I tried to step back from my preconceived ideas and see what God really says about peace, war, and loving your enemies.
My foundation wasn’t shaken—but my ability to show different viewpoints was stretched tight.
“I don’t know why I’m writing this book!” I complained to my sister (the one who gave me the idea for it nearly ten years ago). “No one’s going to agree with it. I have no idea what I’m doing …”
But God knows what He’s doing. Not only did He send people to encourage and push me on my way … He brought me back to a well-known piece of history and fanned the flames of truth, shedding greater light on what happened.
After years of oppression in Egypt, God heard the cry of His people. And, as He so often does, He chose someone to help carry out His plans. He appeared to Moses in the burning-but-not-consumed bush, where He told of the beautiful liberation to come.
Then we read a remarkable conversation, in which Moses gives varied excuses and God counters each with the assurance of His power and help.
Moses says, “Who am I?” God says, “I AM.” (Exodus 3:11-14)
The message Moses was supposed to bring to Pharaoh wasn’t an easy one. Not only was it outrageous, God even warned him that Pharaoh wouldn’t listen at first. Humanly speaking, it wasn’t even worth trying.
God said, “I AM.” Moses was correct in thinking that his own words would be of little influence—but with God’s power in them, they would set in motion a chain of events that would lead to something wonderful.
Moses says, “They won’t believe me.” God says, “I will cause them to believe.” (Exodus 4:1-5)
Moses had a part to play, but God was the one who would harden and soften Pharaoh’s heart. God was the one who would do the miracles through Moses’ hands. God was the one who would ultimately lead people where He wanted them to be.
Moses says, “I’m not eloquent.” God says, “I will give you words.” (Exodus 4:10-12)
God isn’t bound by our limitations. He created each of us, and he works through us no matter how inadequate we feel ourselves to be. He knows if we’re slow of speech or quick to fear. God delights to partner with us despite our weaknesses, for through them He can show His strength.
God promised to give Moses words, and He did—words that seemed fruitless in the moment, but that led to great things.
Moses says, “Choose someone else.” God says, “I’ll give you help.” (Exodus 4:13-15)
At this point, God becomes angry with Moses for still trying to evade the mission. Yet God answers the excuse with a gift: someone to help. Aaron comes alongside Moses to support and assist him in the work.
Moses says, “Why have You sent me? Look at the results.” God says, “You will see My wonders, and they will testify of Me.” (Exodus 5:22-6:1)
Before things got better, they got worse—much worse. Pharaoh, instead of granting God’s request through Moses and Aaron, made the life of the people unbearable. To Moses, it seemed like the entire plan had backfired, and the people blamed him for what was happening.
God saw the greater plan, a plan that would testify of His power for millennia. For a time, things would be terrible—but it would make His statement of love and salvation that much greater.
We know that this story continued in the exodus of the Israelites, who eventually made it to the land God had promised.
Friend, ponder what tasks lay ahead of you right now. Maybe you wonder why you’re the one facing them. Maybe you feel weak and unqualified. Maybe it seems that moving forward will makes things worse instead of better.
Will you take these lessons from Moses to heart, as I did?
I still don’t know what reception Judah’s Battle will have, or how God will work through its pages. But I know that HE IS, and that He is with me. I know that it’s His work to inspire, challenge, and change people’s hearts. I know that He’s sent people to help me finish the task.
I know why I’m writing this book: because God gave it to me to write.
In His strength and grace,
TRQT